Must be nice on that pedestal...

Sanctimommies. They're everywhere. Just when you think you're safe, they pop up and make you feel like shit for trying to do the best thing for your child.

Sir had his 15 month check-up today. He got his MMR and chickenpox vaccines - he was such a trooper! I was hoping they'd tucker him out and he'd have an extra long nap, but no go. At least they didn't make him that cranky.

Anyway, he's clocking in at 31 inches and 20 lbs even. He's a string bean! This was the first appointment where his doctor started to express some concern about his weight. He dropped percentiles slightly, from the 10th to the 5th (thereabouts, I don't really pay that much attention. I look at the pretty curve to make sure he's staying steady.). We discussed his feeding issues.

And that's the thing. His issue is just that he doesn't eat much. I wouldn't call him "picky," exactly. To me, picky is when your child won't eat anything orange, or wet, or only eats mac and cheese with peas, not broccoli. Sir will try pretty much everything. The problem is that he only takes one or two bites before he's done. Sure, there are a few things that I can usually count on for him to eat more of, but they're not exactly balanced, and it's not like he ever even eats tons of those foods.

So, the AAP recommends 40 calories per inch of height for toddlers. That would put Sir at around 1240 calories per day. I find this mildly ridiculous, but whatev. The point is, on a "good" day, I still don't think Sir ever makes it above 900. So, I decided to ask around for ways to sneak Sir extra calories.

I belong to a birth board on a well-known online community, and I asked about putting heavy cream into his milk (not entirely replacing, but supplementing a little). I got several responses from people saying they had heard of it, and offering other suggestions. Then came the Sanctimommies.

You know, the mommies who are apparently so perfect that their children poop gold nuggets, and slept through the night at 2 days, and walked at 4 months, were speaking full sentences at 6, and their lives are SO PERFECT that they work a full day, come home and cook dinner in heels and then proceed to give their husband a BJ every night without so much as smudging their lipstick.

So I get the speeches about how sneaking calories in doesn't teach children healthy eating habits, and I must be doing something wrong if there's no underlying medical issue for Sir not eating a lot of food (to which I say "COME ON! He's not even 3 feet tall! How big can his stomach possibly be?"). And I have decided I hate the "It all evens out" argument. Maybe for some it does, but not for Sir. It's not evening out. He eats like a bird. And while he's perfectly healthy and happy now, I'd like to head this off at the pass before the day comes when he's NOT healthy.

I was getting the "trust your child to do what's right for them" lecture. And I thought to myself, when did that become the thing to do? When did we, as parents, as the supposedly more mature and responsible individuals, decide to hand the power over to our children? Isn't my job as a mother to decide and do what is best for Sir? He's 15 months old. He would chew on his dirty diaper if I let him. I hardly think I can trust him to realize what a healthy, well-balanced, nutritious diet is. I can do my best to provide him with balanced and healthy options, and make sure food is offered at appropriate intervals. But if he is choosing not to eat enough to sustain his growing body, does it not then become my duty to do whatever it takes to do it for him?